Fun Food Jokes
Kid's Food Jokes
What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate too fast?
Stop goblin your food.
What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?
Because he was on a roll.
Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What did the hungry computer eat?
Chips, one byte at a time.
Why do fish avoid the computer?
So they don't get caught in the Internet.
What did the cannibal order for take-out?
Pizza with everyone on it.
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Footprints in the cheesecake.
I trained my dog not to beg at the table.How did you do that?
I let him taste my cooking.
What's in an astronaut's favorite sandwich?
What do cats call mice on skateboards?
"Meals on Wheels."
Why do you eat so fast?
I want to eat as much as possible before losing my appetite.
What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I'm dressing!
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.
Jack: Would you like some Egyptian Pie?
Jill: What's Egyptian pie?
Jack: You know, the kind mummy used to make.
The customer asked: "Do you serve crabs here?"
"Yessir," repplied the waiter. "We'll serve just about anybody."
What starts with "t" ends with "t" and is filled with "t"?
Why did the man eat at the bank?
He wanted to eat rich food.
What does the richest person in the world make for dinner every night?
Why don't chickens play sports?
Because they hit fowl balls.
What has ears but can't hear a thing?
How many naked women does it take to bake a cake?
Three, one to bake, one to mix, and one to pose.
Where does a bat eat his dinner?
On home plate, and he has a ball.
What's the worst thing about being an octopus?
Washing your hands before dinner.
What did one knife say to the other?
Why did the man stare at the can of orange juice?
Because it said 'concentrate.'
How does the man in the moon eat his food?
In satellite dishes.
Did you hear the joke about oatmeal?
It's a lot of mush.
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean is a vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS.
Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category.
Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk,
which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries
all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
Another important thing is to put "eat chocolate" at the top of
your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get
one thing done.
Before I forget, a nice box of chocolates can provide your total
daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?
A special reminder: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts"!
The Most Grief
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed
most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous,
and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs
in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we
all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it
is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding
Duck, Duck, Duck???
My story starts off with my ex-husband going duck hunting. First time ever. He came home with one duck and I was given the directions on how to clean it by our elderly neighbour. Well you are supposed to boil a pot of water and leave the duck in the water just long enough for the feathers to come off nicely. Hmmmm I placed it in the water and meanwhile the phone rang. It was my girlfriend and I left the kitchen and went into the living-room to chat. Well one hour later, I hung up the phone and that is when I smelled this awful odour coming from the kitchen. My duck!!! Yes, I dipped it in the water alright, only I cooked the darn thing with its feathers, guts and all. I removed it from the pot and it stood on its feet on my counter with its beak twisted sideways and looking like something out of this world. Was this my duck I was going to be so proud of? My very first duck! Oh my goodness you had to be there to see it. I cried and laughed at the same time. Mind you my ex did not think it was so funny!